i think i found one, guys. her name is amber. i've got the butterflies again. this is a good sign. the inference is that if i can get butterflies, it follows that i am capable of finding love again.

she's 32. from a small town in ohio. she has auburn to red hair, of a small stature, thin as a waif, and she makes my loins sing... . she's a special education teacher. she likes death valley. and really, tonight was the 3rd date, and i felt like if i looked away from her, i'd be cheating my eyes of a sight they'd been deprived of for too long. way too long. and she kisses with a tenderness known by only other angels and me.

it gets better and better no matter what.

new fave song.

the most exciting thing in my life right now: baseball playoffs start this weekend. and so saturday, i'm going to the corner bar (alone) to watch the giants game.

other than that, not much to report... i grow less and less fond of law school as the days pass - the whole thing, the classes, the people - it gets tiresome and i feel out of place. am i the alien? or are they the aliens? often i wonder what will happen when i graduate. will i find a job? will i have the gumption to start my own practice? if not, will i bartend again? if so, who will put me out of my misery? maybe i should drop out and go back to my rocknroll star dreams... was i happier then? i can't remember. am i happy now? a resounding "no" screams from the chorus in my head. the chorus is full of tone deaf cynical castrati drunks, and i, their conductor, cannot read the sheet music. it's a sonic disaster these days.

i find less and less time to make the gym.  been smoking pot pretty much every night now. i'm on a brown rice and spinach kick these days, lovin every minute. i've been putting off doing laundry for about 2 weeks.

the other day, i was on the bus and a girl with a black flag t-shirt got on and sat in front of me. she was listening to her headphones, and i could hear her blasting this:

she wasnt too cute - but i still fell madly in love.

it's astonishing - how microscopic the amount of human contact i can get by on.

school school school school school school school school. masturbate. school school school school school. eat. school school school school school. sleep.

ain't the good life, but it's my life.


i quit okcupid. for good this time.

stupid facebook is next. 

neil tyson degrasse said on the most recent radiolab podcast, it takes approximately 8 minutes and 20 seconds for the light and warmth of the sun to reach the planet earth. but i say, if you live in portland, it takes about 9 months. the clouds are creeping are back.

week 2 of fall semester. all systems are go.

 if anyone needs me, i'll just be listening to this on repeat for the next few weeks... just kinda walking around in some sort of coma.

school started. someone asked me how i felt about it today. "hey nick, how's it feel to be back?"

it feels like i had an incredible summer that i'm not ready to say goodbye to.  it feels like i'm walking right back into the fuckin fray for 3 months. and it feels like there are no cute chicks in the incoming class.

bright sides include: my income tax prof is, for the most part, unintentionally hilarious. there is no final exam in my wills & trusts class, just two papers to write over the course of the semester. and hannah is ok with being friends again.

s'all i got.

dog days of summer

20 more days of summer. i'm broke until pay day. a bit bored tonight. sick of okcupid. it's supposed to be in the 100's for the next few days. mike and melissa are flying in a week from tomorrow. scored a date with the barista from down the street - she's only 20 years old - but i don't even care because she's so fuckin sexy (thanks, hormones). the gym is currently my favorite thing to do (arms are getting massive). all my friends are going to burning man (weirdos). dinner tonight is brown rice, broc, can of tuna, and a protein shake (again). and i found out that my credit score is 655, which they tell me is pretty good.